There's No Traffic on the Extra Mile by Rickey Minor

Author:Rickey Minor
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2011-03-04T00:00:00+00:00

LION TAMING

One survival technique you’ll need in the jungle sooner or later is the ability to deal with demanding and sometimes unreasonable people. The key is to master this as early as possible, since it helps to be increasingly better at it as you move higher and higher up the food chain.

For this reason, I was very happy to encounter Joe Mele. It is no accident that Joe has been a conductor, music director, and arranger for some of the best. He is really good. He is a no-nonsense kind of guy, but with a wonderfully dry sense of humor once you dig below the surface. He was conducting for Lou Rawls. I was playing bass, a newlywed and very happy to have the job, until one night . . .

We were on the bandstand playing before a packed house, the first night of a two-night stand. Joe was standing by the piano, and I was way on the other side. When we got to a certain part of the song, Joe suddenly started yelling and screaming something at me. I was playing and Lou’s deep voice was booming, so I couldn’t really hear what Joe was saying. But it was clear he was having a problem with me. There was nothing much I could do right in the middle of the show. I kept on playing, and he kept on screaming in plain view of Lou, my fellow musicians, and the whole audience. It was really embarrassing.

That night, I didn’t want to go out with the guys to get something to eat, even though I knew sulking in my room would be only temporary relief. Being around all those people on the road, it’s impossible to hide problems for long, and unaddressed, they erupt sooner than later. Like the “poly-rhythms” we discussed earlier, common sense told me that my task with Joe was not to try to change him, but to fit into his rhythm and let him be comfortable being who he is—and most important, not to let the situation take me off center emotionally. But this one was really difficult. It pressed my buttons. Although I knew better, I did take it personally.

So I sat in my hotel room, fuming and totally fed up with Joe Mele. “How could he! Yelling and screaming at me like I’m an idiot!” I made up my mind right then that I was going to go and find Joe. I was going to quit. I didn’t even want to consult with my wife about it. I was just going to do it. So I went down to the bar, and there was Joe with the guys.

I said to him, “Can I talk to you for a moment?” We went off to the side. “Listen, I don’t know what I did that caused you to yell at me.”

He said, “Well, when you get to this part, I want you to play something different.”

“So why didn’t you tell me after the show?”

“By the end of the gig, I didn’t remember,” he said.

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